When Your Mentor Falls Off the Pedestal, Lessons from James Ray

What does one do when your teacher or mentor screws up big time, and how do you deal with that?

My world was rocked, and my very foundation was badly shaken. I went into a state of shock and denial.

How could that possibly be true, how could that possibly happen to James, what happened?

I am a strong supporter of the teachings and work of James Ray, and now I find myself in that situation of how do I deal with what has happened, and separate the teachings from the man.

If you have been under a rock for the last couple of months, the short version of the story is that 3 people died in a sweat lodge ceremony conducted at the Spiritual Warrior seminar held by James Ray in Sedona, AZ. There are apparently other things that have happened in the last couple of years at some of his other seminars as well.

I am really disappointed in his response to what has happened, and the way he is handling and dealing with the situation. I don’t know what’s going through his mind at this point in time, but I am troubled by his seeming lack of concern and involvement.

This has been a really difficult time for me, as I had James pretty high on a pedestal, with emulating him and wanting to live like him. Now I am having to rethink a few things. I still really love his message and teachings, or most of it, on how to live an abundant and harmonic life.

I would have trusted James implicitly and explicitly with my life. Now I don’t know. He is still a gifted, smart wonderful man, but one with faults and challenges.

It turns out that James is human and has faults after all. The lesson learned for me, is to not give away my power so much, but still to learn from mentors and teachers. Its okay to admire them, but make sure that I maintain my sense of power and strength for myself and do whats right for me.

I have a tendency to put someone up on a pedestal and want to be like them. In some respects, thats okay as a model, something to strive for. But on the other hand, I need to remember that they are human too, and even when their lives seem so perfect and I want to be like them, that they also have their challenges and issues to deal with, and that I need to live my life for myself and not wish my life was like someone else’s. I need to live my life for myself, and not spend so much of it wishing it were like someone else’s. Which isn’t to say that I need to settle for mediocrity, but that I can look at someone else’s life, work towards being or having some of the same kinds of things they do, but also know that I have strength and power in myself.

Appreciation for Living Life to the Fullest

I was at a memorial service tonight for a church member who was a long time member, and a pillar of the community. I am a newer member to the church and didn’t know him well, but well enough to be at the service.

It was well attended, over 300 people, probably closer to 350 or more. It is a testament to him, and a life well lived. He was older, and had health issues, but it was a life well lived. I learned so much about him in the service, the eulogy, and the remembrances given by his friends, colleagues and family.

I learned that he lived life to the fullest, filled with adventure, drive, dedication, passion, joy and a great sense of humor. Which isn’t to say that his life didn’t have challenges or sorrows, it did. But he didn’t dwell on them, or wallow in it. The stories people were telling of his vacations and adventures in them were amazing. Most people would quit, and he just didn’t know the meaning of the word. There was too much life to be lived, too much fun to be had, and another adventure down the road.

It really made me think about my own life. It pales by comparison. I have not done nearly the things he has, and not that I have to do all that he has, but it makes me realize that my life is lacking. And that I have to change that. I am not living my life as fully and authentically as I want. He had so many awards and accolades it was amazing. But he didn’t to things for the accolades. He just got them as a result of living his life with meaning and passion.

And he was so giving, giving back to his family, his community, work, church, and friends. What a wonderful position to be in. Having meaningful work, doing well in your work, being well paid for the work you do, being able to live your life how you want, and share and give back to community and things that are important to you.

That has been a goal of mine, and I am not nearly living it. And it is well past time for that to happen. So now I have been given a wonderful message in the passing of a wonderful man.

Live your life. Enjoy your life, have fun, do your best, love your family and community.

Rest in peace Bob. Although somehow, I am not sure he is resting. I think he is having another marvelous adventure! And I am sure he is having a great time and rascally adventure with the angels.

When you’re a JET you’re a JET all the way…

Oh wait, wrong movie. I was referring to James Arthur Rays Journey Expansion Team, JET. Its groups across the country for people who are interested in connecting with, learning about or staying connected to James’ teachings.

I went to another JET meeting last Friday, and there was some lively discussion. Conflict even. But thats good. It was interesting to see the dynamics and interplay of conversations between the participants. People with issues and hot buttons really getting pushed, and seeing how other people responded to being on the receiving end of an attack. There was a woman in the group who was rather defensive about certain things, and she would ‘attack’ in her conversation, then back down. I was not engaging much in the conversation, I was more of an observer. Sometimes I like to watch the engagement of others. I learn a lot from that. From their conversations, what they say, and how they react to things.

We did have some interesting discussion about perceptions, realities, and issues. One woman wondered what we thought of James saying he has a wad of money in his pocket, whether he really did, and if he was worried about getting mugged. It turned out that she herself had been mugged. Interesting how the RAS works. Thats her sensitivity, so thats what she was focusing on. Part of the discussion was on quantum physics, how the world collapses to your reality. I also said that I thought that James has a lot of integrity. If he says he has a wad of money in his pocket, then he does, not a big bunch of kleenex to make it look like he is rich. She wondered if he was telling the truth about it. Which made me wonder what was in her past or awareness that she thought James would not be telling the truth, or if he was just putting one over on us, and not being genuine. But she is on the path, and seems to be truly interested in his teachings. So I give her credit for that, and for being there to explore.

I’m looking forward to the JET meeting next month. They are always interesting, informative, and I really enjoy being connected to people who are like minded on the path of Harmonic Wealth.

Still on a James Ray high

I’m still inspired from the Harmonic Wealth weekend, connecting with my Warrior team, and people I met over the weekend. It is so great to be among like minded people, people who actually get it, and understand what you are talking about. And the inspiration, enthusiasm and excitement you get from the group grows by leaps and bounds.

One of the men I met in the group wore a really cool t-shirt, which said ‘ Energy flows where attention goes’, which is one of James’ sayings. Even James wanted to know where he got the shirt! So now the fellow is selling the shirts to like-minded people. I hope and trust that he is really successful with his venture! I know that I will be ordering a shirt! It is inspiring for me to see that happening. I know that the more I plug in, the more that kind of thing will happen to me as well. So I am doing my best to stay connected, plugged in, and goggles on. (You had to be there….)

Harmonic Wealth – Transforming Your Life

James Ray’s Harmonic Wealth weekend is phenomenal! What an incredible and amazing 2 days. They were very, and I do mean very, long days. We started at 8am on Friday, finished at 1:15 am (a 16 hour day), slept for 3-1/2 hours, came back at 6:30 am on Saturday and went until midnight. But it was so absolutely awesome that you hardly knew it was so long! The energy in the room was flying.

The experiences went from fun and bouncy to deep, emotional and needing the kleenex, and everything in between. This was one of those things that you just have to experience for yourself, and you will be so glad that you did.

We learned about change, your comfort zone, how to expand it, what to do when fear creeps up, creating long term success, about the 5 pillars of the Harmonic Wealth wheel, financial, relational, mental, physical, and spiritual, how to create success, energy, quantum physics, belief systems, breaking through limitations, replacing the limitations with new empowering thoughts and beliefs, creating a vision for the future, and creating a decree.

I learned that my Harmonic Wheel needs improvement, its not a very round wheel. But at least now I know where the areas of improvement are, and what to do. Breaking through limitations literally, with the board break was so powerful. To know that I can break a one inch thick board with my hand is more than just symbolic. Its transforming. Dancing across the stage to get to my intention was fun, and a little challenging. There were 2 rows, about 50 people, who got volunteered to dance across the stage to get your intention on the other side, and each person crossing the stage had to dance uniquely, or be buzzed off to do it again. I was about 5 from the end. I didn’t know what I was going to do until I got to the stage, but I stepped on, and went. Kind of a metaphor for life. James had a lot of those! Pretty good ones too! We also have a Warrior group, a kind of support group for 8 weeks following the weekend, each group has 6 people. I am the leader of our group. I am learning to lead, and step up more these days. Its a good thing. It will help me with life, and what I am intending to do.

I met some amazing people. It was so awesome to be in a room full of 400 people of like mind. Now to keep the connections going.

I am stoked, excited, and filled with enthusiasm and power from the weekend! Life is great, and I am really looking forward to putting all this wonderful information and knowledge to good use.

Focus and Clearing the Mind

It was a very productive day today, and my mind is more clear and focused as a result. There is really something to be said for clearing up piles of paperwork sitting in your office, just staring at you, waiting to be addressed and taken care of. I spent more time than I care to admit today, paying my bills, going through credit card statements, reconciling things and shredding the old papers afterwards. I have much smaller stacks and piles of paper now, and my mind feels much freer and more clear. I feel like I have much more focus now, I can see what it is I want and need to do, and I feel like I can actually accomplish it. I have had that feeling before, and then something comes along, called ‘life’, so I don’t always get to do what I want, and continue on my roll, but it sure does feel good today. I feel so energized that I almost good work for a few more hours. But I know better, as it is late (or is that early?) in the morning, and I need to get some sleep to be ready to go for tomorrows big adventure.

More Lessons from Toastmasters

My skills are growing. Tonight was another night of many firsts.

The most unusual one was me being asked to mentor a new member. I don’t know that I am qualified, but I said yes to the opportunity. I have been in the club about 3 months now. I was enthusiastic and encouraging to a visitor at the time, she recently joined, and is looking to me for leadership. Well, thats a bit of a new one for me. I’m not used to being in the role of leadership, but apparently, it is one that I will becoming much more familiar with as I learn, grow, and share my knowledge with others. I have heard that an expert is someone who knows something more than you. Doesn’t have to be a lot, or a Ph.D, just someone who knows more about the subject in question than you. I guess that makes me qualified to mentor. I am willing to share my knowledge, and what I know, and hopefully that will help the new member to be the best Toastmaster that she can be.

Tonight was also my first meeting as Vice President of Membership, and had to step up to the role. We got a new member joining tonight. I am learning that as I go. He was very enthused about joining, and I am looking forward to getting to know this new member as well. I have a feeling that a new visitor to the club tonight will be joining at the next meeting. More work for me, woo hoo! I am excited about the prospects of the new members joining. It will give me more leadership experience. Part of my job as VP Membership is to make sure that visitors are taken care of and have someone to talk with, that they don’t sit by themselves with no one to talk to, to make them feel welcome. I think we did our jobs tonight.

I also was a speech evaluator for the first time tonight. I think that may be the hardest role so far. I evaluated an icebreaker speech, which is a good one to test the waters on. It is important for the evaluator to do a good job. The speaker puts a lot of time and effort into their speech, and you want to do a good job of evaluating, listening to what is being said, seeing that the speech does what is intended to (different speeches have different purposes), and to give constructive feedback for improvement to the speaker. I think I did that tonight. I also had someone evaluate me as an evaluator, as part of working towards my Competent Leader designation.

Phew. Lots going on at the meeting tonight, and I had a good time! I signed up to give a speech at the next meeting. Time to get back into that. I am thoroughly enjoying my experience with Toastmasters, having fun, and learning a lot. What a great group of people to learn and grow with. I am very glad that I am part of this group, and this experience.

Canvassing the ‘hood

Another new adventure for me today. I went canvassing some doctors offices today in Congresswoman Melissa Beans district. She seems to feel that health insurance coverage and reform is not a concern for her constituents. We are gathering information to see if her assessment is correct. So far pretty much everyone we talked with seems to feel that insurance is a concern.

It was definitely interesting to talk with the different people, and hear different viewpoints on the issue of health care reform. Some were all for it, and wanted a single payer plan, some were not in favor of the government option because they don’t care for the way medicare is run now, and are concerned where the money will be coming from. Other people were definitely in favor of a public option plan, along with the current insurance plan we have available.

There was also some differing opinions in the staff of the doctors office, versus the opinion of the doctor themselves, on the occasion that we were actually able to speak with the doctor.

This was a marvelous experience for me on many fronts. I have never done any canvassing, and it was good to see it in action, from a master communicator. One of the people I went with is really good at finding the connection with someone, allowing the other person to feel heard. He is a master networker, and I really appreciate watching him in action. He was not pushing his viewpoint, or agenda. He was listening to the other person, and the results he got were amazing. It is never too late to learn a new skill. At this age of my life, I never thought I would be going canvassing, but you just never know what is in store next.

I learned about the skill of canvassing, organizing the group, being willing to change plans to fit the needs of the moment.

I really appreciated listening to the different opinions of the people we talked to.

I felt like I was actually doing something for a cause that I believe in, making a difference. It was good to be involved in something that I feel this strongly about, and feel needs to be changed. I am glad to be having my voice heard for health care reform, and which ever way it turns out, at least I can feel comfortable that I have done what I can to change the current system, to make things better, and to be heard.

Getting to Unstoppable

I finished reading Unstoppable by Cynthia Kersey today, and I am excited and inspired! The book is amazing, stories of inspiration from many people on how they overcame impossible obstacles, not taking no for an answer, not letting setback after setback, failure after failure stop, deter or keep them from their quest. Each had a different mission and purpose, but each accomplished their goal. There were stories of a child who got recycling programs instituted in her city, being ignored by the mayor and a whole lot of other people. At 12 years old, I certainly wouldn’t have had the courage or fortitude to call the mayor of my city. But she did, she didn’t take no for an answer, and kept going until she eventually had the city calling her on how to implement the program.

Kersey has a number of steps, and suggestions for being unstoppable:

Devote yourself to your true purpose
Follow your hearts passion
Believe in yourself and your ideas
Prepare for challenges
Ask for help and the support of others
Creatively seek solutions
Persevere, no matter what the challenges

I am typing out this list and posting it in a few places where I will be reminded and inspired to be unstoppable.

The first step is to figure out what my true purpose is. That has been part of my challenge. I know some things I want to do, I know what’s important to me, but I don’t know what my true purpose is. When I know that, I will have the fire to get going, and follow my hearts passion.

I know that it is possible. When I decided I wanted to go to massage therapy school, I was unstoppable then. Never mind that I was working 40 hours a week. Or living in a suburb an hour away (on a good traffic day) from the school, and that the expressway to get to the school was under construction. And that going to school was almost the equivalent of going to school full time, like in college. Plus homework, tests, papers to write, 100 hours of internship. And living with someone at the time, trying to maintain the relationship, while also dealing with family responsibilities. I know that my challenges were not nearly as great as the young man who literally walked barefoot across Africa to get to Egypt to take a plane to the US and go to school while raising the money along the way, applying to colleges and learning the language. But I know that for the right reason, I am fired up, inspired and passionate, darn near unstoppable.

Its time to find and have that passion again. Time for my life’s mission, work and purpose. I have been working with James Rays information to define some of my passion and purpose, and with the marvelous suggestions from Cynthia Kersey in her book, I am well on my way to figuring it out.

The Day Goes Astray, or not quite Unstoppable

It was another one of those days when I didn’t quite get everything done that I had intended. Or even close to it. But as they say, stuff happens. Move on, and do better the next time. What was supposed to be a simple matter, taking mom to the internist, coming home, having the air conditioning fixed took a whole lot longer than anticipated. Necessary things to do, but sometimes you don’t always have the control of your time that you would like. Then add in a trip to the pharmacy because of changes in meds, cook dinner and clean up, and there goes a big chunk of the day. It was a marvelous dinner, but now I remember why I don’t like to cook. It took a lot longer than most of the meals I make, but it was worth the effort, as it was appreciated and enjoyed by all, kitties included. Not too many kitties I know get crab meat.  (no, not the really good stuff, but they enjoyed it just the same. From the ruckus they made waiting for it, you think they would have gotten the good stuff!)

Tying this in with Unstoppable, or not quite, is I am reading Cynthia Kersey’s book, Unstoppable. It is a magnificent, inspiring book, about people famous and otherwise, who have accomplished the most amazing things, many ‘impossible’, and they didn’t let that stop them, or get in their way. When they were on the mission, they were unstoppable, doing whatever it took to get the job done. Kersey lists 7 traits of people who are unstoppable. I am not finished with the book yet, but almost, and I just started it 3 days ago. It is one of those books that is just hard to put down. I get involved in the amazing stories of people in the book, and I want to know more. How their story turned out. How they overcame their obstacles.

So although my day was not ‘unstoppable’, I did get more fuel for my fire, learning what I need to do to be one of the success stories. I am building the foundation, and one day, I too will be unstoppable.